Lunch Line Security Theater

Back in 2010 at the first TEDxPSU event I was offered the opportunity by a very polite event worker to allow Bruce Schneier to step into the gap in the line in front of me at the lunch buffet. Earlier that morning I had been subjected to Bruce’s Reconceptualizing Security talk. Immediately I started assessing how I felt about the situation, wondering what the model was for dealing with it, and assessing what the reality was. My feelings were chasing for a model that would deal with the reality that was presenting itself.

I was eventually able to understand that the one person that I really wanted the chance to meet that day at TEDxPSU was going to be cutting into the lunch line in front of me. What possible security risk could there being letting Bruce Schneier cut in the lunch line? The reality of the situation said there would be little to no risk in allowing one of the event speakers to cut in line.  The model I had in my head said the social thing to do was be nice and welcome the opportunity and assumed the other event guests behind me in line would not object, at least publicly.

The reality said there was no risk.  The model said there was no risk. So, why did my feelings say there was risk?  I had not expected to run into Bruce in the lunch line. I was a little shocked, felt unprepared, and did not want to leave Bruce with a bad impression.

I did acknowledge the event worker and openly welcomed Bruce by name into the lunch line, but was unable to further engage Bruce as the buffet and rushing of the event worker provided an effective distraction. Although I was disappointed by the lost opportunity, later I was able to make it to the table where Bruce had eaten his lunch and was able to briefly say hi to him before he had to take a phone call. While I never really got to fully introduce myself to Bruce, I am not at all that bummed about it.  I now have a personal security theater story about the day Bruce Schneier cut in front of me in the lunch line.

Bruce started his talk that morning suggesting security is two different things, a feeling, and a reality.  The reality is that it’s not really that much of a risk to allow someone to cut in the lunch line, but you may feel a lot different about the security risk when it's Bruce Schneier cutting in line.